These Haunting Dreams

Conflicted.

You lose someone who is dear to you. The reason you do is because you, yourself somehow manage to fuck things up. So, it eats at you. You want them back. It’s like your mission. They don’t seem to be responding as well as you’d like. Are they even in love with you anymore? You don’t know…but, you still fight for it. You grasp on to some ounce of hope. But, it’s really taking it’s toll.

Then life throws you a curve ball. You run into an old friend. Some one that you still consider a friend, but really only communicate with them through what seems to be the “normal” channels…facebook. But, this time they’re there in front of you. Face to face. This is not just an old friend…this is “the one that got away”. You talk for quite some time. It feels like high school again. Just shooting the shit and catching up. “How old is your son, now?”“He’s almost 3.”“Oh, wow. Mine just turned 4.” All the standard lines apply. You realize that she’s more gorgeous than ever. You ask yourself why you never said anything. After the small talk you say your good-byes and promise to hang out sometime. You hug them. But, they hold you tighter than you expected and softly they say, “It was so good to see you again.” You play it off and reply with the same.

You miss you’re lost love, but there’s always that thing in you for “the one who got away”. What does someone do? This is the conflict that good cinema is made of. You want them both. But, you know you can’t. So…what now?

Puffing on a cigarette and grooving to Nujabes. So fucking dope.